In caring for my husband who suffered from MS, I was often guilty of neglecting my own well-being. Fortunately, it didn’t take me long to realize that investing in myself not only benefited me but also enhanced my ability to care for my husband. Here are a few of the areas I learned to prioritize in order to care for myself.
My physical health became a high priority. Investing time in regular exercise, a balanced diet, and sufficient sleep, though not always possible, proved to be crucial. In order to manage all the details of caring for my husband, I needed sufficient energy levels, mental clarity, and overall resilience. By paying attention to my physical health, I not only felt better but I became a better caregiver, too.
My mental and emotional wellness were of equal importance. The emotional toll of caregiving could be overwhelming, so to lighten my load I joined a caregivers’ support group and made time to meditate, if only for ten minutes a day. I also committed to practicing mindfulness so I didn’t operate on automatic pilot when performing routine tasks. This allowed me to be present for my husband and avoid costly mistakes. Sessions with my compassionate psychotherapist helped me to cope, and calling on friends and family members gave me relief when I was feeling overwhelmed.
Continuous learning and skill development were essential as my husband’s MS became more advanced and his care became more complicated. I attended workshops, learned from others in my support group, and learned from medical professionals. As time went on, I was able to do medical procedures such as changing Foley catheters and administering bullous feeding when my husband was no longer able to eat. Over time, I learned to accomplish complicated tasks I never dreamed I could do.
During my caregiving years, I came to realize the importance of self-investment, learning to prioritize my physical health, mental and emotional wellness, and engage in continuous learning. In my memoir, Watching for Dragonflies: A Caregiver’s Transformative Journey, you can learn more about the ways in which I stretched the boundaries of what I believed I could do, in this and in other areas of my life. I hope my story will inspire others to invest in themselves, whatever their role may be.